You Could Be Happy

You're right, picture below, I could be happy.
So I should probably try and figure my life out..

I'm not sure why I keep thinking this over and over again, or what it means, so I'm just going to type it out and try and make sense of it.

I hate how everything in life is so fake.

That's my thought for this night. The world is so fake. So many people, especially people at my school are just so fake. I can hardly stand it. Why not be straight up and be yourself?
I just don't get it.

That's all that's on my mind tonight.
I have a headache.
Going to a jazz game tomorrow.
Working Saturday.
Next week is spring break, hells yes.
Seriously, I cannot wait to just party it up with no school.
Hm.
I'm tired.

Loves.

P.S. Have you seen the show 'Mobbed'? I love it.

Alright, Imma Do This Post

Things are changing.
I always say this because, well, they're always changing.
But really, this time, they are.
I'm changing what I believe and who I've been my whole life.
Hm.
It's exciting and scary.

Life is meant to be lived to the fullest.

"Not all those who wander are lost."
And I'm not going to get lost.

I'm just gonna go on a little trip and find out more about who I am.
Cheeeeeeesy.

Right now obsessed with:
Pink Floyd.
To Be Juliet's Secret.
The Icarus Account.

and lots more. I am so obsessed with music. there is just SO much GOOD music.
and stumble. still obsessed with stumble. and facebook.
and life.
and dance.

the only thing I wish I WASN'T obsessed with: work and school.
yuck.

uhm. i'm following my gut and my heart this time; not my head.
i'm pretty excited.
i'm not gong to let life get me down.

xo Lu.

Loving this.

Images that are part of me.

THANK THE WORLD FOR STUMBLE.

It brought me to this beautiful website that I am going to selfishly keep to myself.
Ah. I have fallen in love with this website. Here are some of my favorites.
Things that are nestled inside of me; waiting to pour out.
[Also, don't forget to scroll down to my entry under this, because it is reasonably new and fresh.]

The one above is my personal favorite.

Definitely feeling this one on top right now.

Love,
Laur

p.s. i don't own rights to any of these pictures. lol. dur.

Today Is The Day

that I finally update my blog.
I have no idea what to update..
Because my life is pretty colorless right now.

I've had this post up for 15 minutes.. Nothing much has come to me yet.
This picture: I wish I felt it. I wish it painfully.
But I don't.


I think I'm ready to just get in my car and drive; away.
I have a major and constant headache.
A lot of the time, there's no reason for me to get up in the morning.
Here's what I can't stand about it all: there's no big reason for me to feel this way.

There's people out there with cancer, or heartbreak, or families splitting up; people in Japan with their lives practically falling apart.

And here I am; living my life bored, tired, somber, and low-spirited.
WHY.

Why can't I just choose happiness and be happy and happiness is a journey blah blah blah.
It's not that easy.
I wish it were.

In other news:
Next week I start my last term of high school.
Praise the world. I hate high school; I hang out with certain people, I'm not looking to make new friends. It's not like I'm joining clubs and "getting involved." Ha. I don't participate in the drama or relationships of high school. I just steer clear. I'm just not cut out for high school.

Work. I work all the time. What else is new?
I hate it.

All that my friends do is party. I love them. But drugs and drinking just aren't my scene. Looks like I'll be the permanent designated driver for a while. That's fine with me. :]

Dance: 4 pieces going on right now. Concert dates: April 29, 30, May 2.
Come. :) You'll love it.

Uhm. I've gone shopping a lot lately.
Ah my life is boring and stupid.
I'm making lots of money and saving it.
Impressed? Me too.

Love you guys.

Things will always work out in the end, if they aren't working out, then it's not the end.

Have you ever just watched the little line on your computer screen flash?
Waiting for you to write something?
Your hands sit on the keyboard and twitch, but nothing comes.
Whenever I type something out, I just backspace again.

I don't have words for how I feel right now.
Dramatic.. I hate being dramatic.
But don't tell me I'm dramatic.
Because this is my blog and this is how I feel; if you don't like it, get off my blog.
Hah, sorry, feeling a little feisty today.

It feels like everyone in my life, now has other more important people to see, or more important things to do.
I'll be honest, I've been distant for a while now. I can see why they've busied themselves with other things.

But it's hard feeling like an outsider in my own life.

I do though. Almost daily, I feel like the people I've loved for so long and have been with me through everything, we're all falling apart.
Maybe I'm the one falling apart.

In this space I just wrote a huge list of everyone in my life and everything they are up to.
I then highlighted and backspaced, because I don't want this to be a post on trying to guilt trip anyone; people are busy; they have lives. I understand that better than anyone.

I just miss those summer days where I woke up to endless and numberless plans.
Just waiting to see what was in store for the day.

And now I wake up having a pretty laid out idea of what's going to happen.
School, work, homework.
I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning.
How boring is that?
I miss my friends.. I feel like I'm losing a lot of them. And through that, I'm losing a lot of who I am.

"People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out."
[I hate to quote Taylor Swift, I do, but it's the most true phrase for my life right now.

I just miss me.


Maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself.
Good solution.

xox. Laura.

People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out.

A Little Update

These past couple weeks, I've had so many rasberry-cheesecake-subway cookies, I think I could die. And somehow I still love them. Also, lots of Dr. Pepper.
I've worked everyday this week except for Wednesday. My job really isn't all that bad. I'm lucky. And most of the people I work with, I trust and I love.

My last post didn't mean a lot. Sorry to those who thought it did. It was me just getting some thoughts out of my head and through my fingers to the keyboard.
No secret meanings, no signs.
Just my mind, just my life, everything deserves a chance to be written.
Hah, I never meant my blog to be dramaville, but it somehow turns out that way every once in a while.

Listening to constantly: Nevershoutnever, Chase Coy, He Is We. A little bit of Vampire Weekend.
I've been obsessed with music as of late. I mean, I'm rarely not obsessed with it, but every second of my day possible, I've had my ipod playing.
It's nice.
It changes my mood drastically, not necessarily good or bad moods. Just different.

This week is a week of change for me. I'm changing. I think it's good. I am still a little stressed and worried, but that's life eh?

I am so ready for summer. I'm cold all the time, I need the sunshine to be happy.



This was slightly random. But meh.

I don't remember where I found this picture, but I love it. I'm feeling it right now.

xoox. Laura.

Since You.

I haven't gone to the farmington pond.
I haven't ridden my bike for that matter.
I've saved 42 emails in my drafts; never sent.
I haven't cried that hard.
I've stopped doing random lists about myself; I don't care if anyone else knows.
I haven't fallen that hard.
I've facebook stalked you.
I've missed my glowing duck.
I've missed those summer nights.
I haven't listened to those songs; they hurt too much.

I've missed my best friend.

I've moved on.
I've convinced myself of it.
I've lived.
I've loved.
I've become who I am..

Words To Live By. Thanks Marilyn.

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, but most of them - actually pretty much all of them- are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

— Marilyn Monroe

1:31:51 <3 Haha. I love life.

I love my best friend.

Hah, what happens with two best friends who have a day off of work?!
Random photoshoot. So there are some pictures for you to fancy.

So I feel like I haven't blogged in a while.
There hasn't been much new with me I guess..

Having a good time hanging out with my boyfriend. This sounds wrong at first, so don't take it wrong, k? But it's hard to adjust to having a boyfriend from being single. Don't get me wrong. I love every second of it. Every second. But sometimes I forget what it's like, ya feel me?

Still love it. And him.

OH. So. He Is We concert was WONDEROUS. They played All About Us, And Run, Happily Ever After, Forever and Ever, and a few other songs.
Allred, Discourse, and Lady Danville opened.

Allred- I swear they open for everyone, haha.
Discourse(s?)- Laaame. All their songs sounded the same.
Lady Danville- LOVED! Almost as much as He Is We. Almost.. Haha. They were really funny too.

So yes, good times.

I've been working and dancing lately. And being frustrated with myself.
I need to learn to find peace in solitude.
Plus I need to clean my room.

xox Laur.

HE IS WE CONCERT TONIGHT.

Stoked.
Absolutely, stoked.

Okay, well it's Barcelona. But I'm going for He Is We.

Oh. Man.

More later.

P.S. This has been the stupidest morning ever.
Things have gotta change.

So Usually..

I hate valentines.

BUT. Wait for iiiit.

I loved today.

It wasn't perfect; but it was juuuust right. :]


i'm for sure going to bed with a smile on my face.
thanks to you bucko.
xoxo.

life is just too good. i don't think about the past, i don't think about the future. i just love the here and now.

i surprise myself.

my life lately has felt matured, mellowed, and content.

this week i am going to see He Is We. i am ESTATIC. beyond that even. favorite band. ah.
also with barcelona and someone else i've never heard of..

uhm. school is getting stupider by the second.

i had a lovely day with mase today. absolutely perfect.
his family is loads of fun.
the sun helped.

college dance auditions were saturday. weber. IMMA sore. it was fun though. i don't think we find out till april.. so i'm just trying not to worry about that.

that's about it for me. i hope you feel sufficiently updated on my life.
it's great. really. it's not super exciting, it's not wild and out of control. it's not rainbows and unicorns.

it's simple, it's real, and it's mine.

ps happy valentines day tomorrow. not a huge fan of the day myself, but i guess it'll be fun for all you sappy people out there.

xox Laura.

Really Excited About This Eventful Picture Post

this is quick and easy and very describing of my life right now.

1. running random walmart errands with Mason, my boyfriend.
2. happy, sunny days with pop rocks and He Is We, just by myself with my car.
3. making new friends; shopping with Steph.
4. being extremely hyper and bead shopping with Elise. oh and addicted to capri suns.
5. that cute boy with that hat he doesn't wear. and me with a d-bag hat haha
6. bra shopping with Elise, da bff.

there you have it. what i've been up to, and who i am.

I'm Gonna Stand Tall

Yesterday a lot of bad stuff happened. A lot. I'll just leave it at that.

And yet.. I'm still finding things to be happy about.
Life is just THAT good.

I am truly happy; for a lot of reasons too. And I don't think anything will get in my way.

I'm gonna stand tall.

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination."

When was the last time..

i was this happy?

i don't really remember to be honest. :)

i find myself smiling constantly, i feel like i am where i'm supposed to be in my life and i'm doing what i need to be doing, and i'm who i am supposed to be with when i'm supposed to be with them.

it's scary because when i feel this happy, i feel like it's going to be pulled away from me.. i just want to hold on so tight.

but happiness is a choice. and i am choosing to be happy. now.

i am pretty positive i go to sleep with a smile on my face daily. (nightly?)
it's the best feeling in the world.

p.s. i'm learning bmx tricks.. kind of. okay, i still suck, but trying new things is so exhilarating. i love bmx, it's amazing.

flickr

flickr

flickr

flickr

flickr

p.s. being happy makes me not focus on words.. i hope this made sense. :]

I know, I know,

it's been a while, and for that, I apologize.
you guys.
brace yourselves.

i am inexplicably happy.

and i don't think this is just a fluke. [i have happy flukes quite often, where i convince myself i'm happy and i end up hating myself.]
pretty positive i am happy.

and i'm not exactly sure why.
i've made new friends that i love.
my testimony has grown.
i've stopped judging people completely; i am so open to people now.
i've let go of grudges and it feels good.

this week i saw a shooting star, as i was driving home; i was talking to my friend about it and she asked "what'd you wish for?"

i thought for a second with a little bit of panic and realized i hadn't even thought of wishing for something. what the crap. ha.

but then i realized.

i didn't wish for anything; i feel like i have everything.

truly. i do.
and it's an amazing feeling; being happy with what you have.

yes; college crap, and work, and school, and nonsense still stresses me out completely; yes, i still have grey days, who doesn't?

but i've made my choice; i'm happy.
and for the first time in a really long time, i feel like i'm where i'm supposed to be at in my life.
LIBERATING, is really the only word i can come up with right now.

this photo here is how i've been living my life lately:
i've decided i am going to try as many new experiences as possible.
i climbed a pavilion roof the other day. that was exciting.
i am also going car surfing soon.





two confessions.
one) i fall hard, and i fall fast. but this time, i'm taking it slow. and i love it. it's new for me to not rush things. it's hard for sure, really hard, but i'm happy where i'm at.

two) i'm dying to get away from home. i can't stand it anymore. thank heavens for this week to come.. i need to move out.. don't get me wrong, i love my family. but..

so that's about it. life is really good. i think about school and i'm like --man, i hate my life-- but in all reality, i don't think at this point in time i am capable of hating my life; because i'm being who i am.
ultra cheeeese.
hope you enjoy my cheesiness as much as i do. (:

xoxo
Laura

oh! FAVORITE SONG

In a perfect world he'd say:

"What are you up to this weekend?"

I'd say ever so casually: "Just workin on Friday."

He would try to reply just as casually back: "How about Saturday, you have any plans?

Me: "Nope." -with a shrug of my shoulders.

Pause.

Him: "How about dinner?"

"Sounds great." I'd say with a smile.


That's all.


I love this little picture above. Really and truly, I love it. I need to read it daily, especially at this point of transitioning in my life.

I have been crazy stressed lately and my dad shared some advice with me:
No on is making you stressed, you are choosing to be stressed.
So true. I've been stupid. So I'm just not going to be stressed anymore, I'm taking everything a day at a time.

I've been 'cleaning house' so to speak.

I've been getting to sleep before midnight.
Going home for lunch instead of spending money; that is actually really satisfying.
I completely shut out some people in my life that were only doing me harm; deleted old emails, ripped up old notes, blocked their websites. i'm just done; and it's... liberating. freeing.
i got a blessing from my dad.
i'm been talking about my stress instead of bottling it up.
i've stopped worrying about what i'm eating.

i'm not sure if anyone even cares about all this nonsense, but i just feel so at peace.
and i'm so grateful for this feeling.

also. suu and weber dance auditions are on the same day...
so i've been praying.
and i'm going to weber.

so there is some stress taken care of.
tomorrow is the last day of this semester.
so there is more stress taken care of.

i can do this. :]
xoo. -Laura.