Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Woot:)

A new leaf, a new leaf :)
No more dr pepper.
Cleaning my room.
Laundry :P
More scripture reading.
Deleted and blocked both of them off of facebook, outta my life forever ;) Good ridance.
I'm moving on. I deserve better.

Lovin life, Lu ;)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

THINGS THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY DONE WITH

Starting right here, and right now, I am DONE.
Done looking at his facebook wall.
Done look at her facebook wall.
Done procrastinating homework till after midnight.
Done making myself throw up.
Done waking up late.
Done reading old, crappy text messages.


These are the hardest things that I am going to have to get through. But I AM going to get through them. I will update every week. Or maybe keep a journal. Whatever. I am strong. And smart. And beautiful. And just what I am supposed to be.

All of my love, Lu :)

Friday, April 23, 2010

Red Lipstick

So this weekend is the dance concert. What a blast. I kind of hate the bratty girls who think they are better than everyone else. But whatevs. I love gettin all done up for concert. RED LIPSTICK :D I have a million things to be doing right now, baking brownies for the concert and cleaning my bathroom :P But I just wanted to update. I am loving life. <3

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

School house

You guys. I don't sleep. This is getting ridiculous. Uhm, and I have a math test tomorrow... I don't know who to do 7/8ths of it. Bad news. Bad bad news. Ughhhhhhh. Life is STRESSING me out.

My life could be worse, much worse. So I'll just fake a smile.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

WHAT is the point in blogging when all your blogs end up being about the same thing?

i end up at the same place. night after night. day after day. missing him.
why should i even miss him? bet he doesn't miss me. bet he is spending all of his time holding her.. ya know what's stupid? still wish it was me..

i think everyday i am getting better and moving on.. but then that time of night rolls around where i start thinking about the past. about memories. first time at his house. first time i met his family. firsts. lasts. just good times.
broken inside. and wishing that somehow i could cover it all up like he does. or maybe he isn't covering it up, maybe he really is, truly happy.. maybe he didn't love me after all. i just wish he would let me know. he misses me. he's hurting.. something. Leash says he's trying to pull an Edward and 'disappear'... guess what. he isn't disappearing.

sorry all my blogs have reverted back to him.. unfortunately.. he is always on my mind.


All my love. Lu

Saturday, April 17, 2010

missin and movin

i miss my brother. he was the boss. I miss saying boss, and having someone to smile knowingly at. i miss summer days drivin around with Logan. i miss his funny, raised eyebrows look. i miss when i was young, and people weren't so messed up. i miss being so, well, not messed up. i miss having a clear complexion. i miss when i had the drive to do homework. i miss having the drive to read my scriptures. i miss putting my hair in braids. i miss having the vcr in my family room. i miss having time to watch tv. i miss when my sleep schedule wasn't so messed up. i miss when i actually used to like eating subway. i miss falling asleep texting adam. i miss loving him. i miss not being angry. i miss a lot of things. but there are many things that have come that have made me happier too :) i am moving along with my life the best way i know how, and even without these things, i am still me :)

In the wise words of All American Rejects: "Move Along, Move Along, Like I know ya do. And even when your hope is gone, move along, move along, just to make it through."

Movin Along ;)

Friday, April 9, 2010

K. Sorry, I really am done now.

If there is one thing I can't stand, it is being lied to. Ugh, he still has my heart :[

Strong strong strong.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Screaming

Go away.
He is mine.
BAAAAAAAAAAH.
I feel like screaming.
I am serious, back off now.
I trust him with my heart.
We are together now.
I will scream.
So stop it.
Leave.

Still.. I want proof..

Thank you. That is all.

Lu.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Latest

Hellllllllo Spring Break. I welcome you with open arms.

This week was a ROLLERCOASTER. Broken up with. Asked me to take him back. Contemplated. Took him back. Believed in second chances. Heard too many rumors.. Threw up. Slept and slept and slept. Threw up. Trusted and believed him, even when everyone was saying something different. Worked a lot. Hung with my girls. Joy luck, too much food. Conference!!! Lost control... Twice in two days. Relied on my Bee to help me through everything...
Seems like everything is alright nowww. But...

I have a gut feeling something is not okay.. Ugh. Paranoia? I dunno. More thought before I blog on that one.

New photoshoot coming up!!! With Matthew :) And Leash. It'll be hot, I've verrry excited. I'll let you know how it goes. It is gonna get messy :) that is all I can say..
Mmm. Other than that.. Tomorrow is gonna be a FRRRREEEESSSSSHH start. Morning prayers, scriptures, nightly prayers, washing my face, brushing my teeth. ROUTINE. It has GOTTA happen. Change change change.

Love to the world.. Still contemplating. Lu.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Fixed?

Things are getting fixed.. At least I hope so.
The nerve of some girls.. Uhm. Hi, I was here first, Thanks.

I love to love. Mmm. Hope everything sticks together.