best summer yet

I need:
More sleep, less tumblr.
More money, less work.
More time, less goodbyes.
More hours in the day, less places to be.

I don't want this summer to end.
It has been perfect.
If it weren't too late, I'd stay here.

This summer has made me decide I will never make a life decision based on another person again.
Because no one is permanent.

But anywhere I go now, I'm going to take this feeling with me;
This feeling of happiness and destiny and daring possibilities.
I feel so liberated and for the first time in the longest time, I feel so... Me.
I feel like everything has fallen into place.
These past few months have been some of the best of my life.

And I'll never forget this summer.

i'm picky because i can be

Me, explaining my views on why settling for something less than exactly what you want in a man is the most ridiculous thing that our girl world participates in.

No offense to anyone I've dated, but I have settled far too often. Not always, but the majority of my brief three year dating period, yes.
For someone who was totally wrong for me, I just didn't want to hurt feelings.
For someone who I "clicked" with, even if we didn't have the same morals.
For someone who I didn't click with, but made me feel less lonely.
For one who made me feel like I was in love, but in reality, we had nothing in common.

Not to say that they aren't great guys, but they're not for me.
And I've come to realize, as of late, the things that really do matter to me in a man, and the ones that don't.
[Of course I had to learn these things through trial and error, and most of my dislikes have come from qualities I've seen, all part of the learning process.]

So here I go. These may seem petty or stupid or maybe even shallow to some of you. I'm fine with that, these are my preferred qualifications, not yours.

If you flake out on me, it makes me not want to try. At the present moment, I am sick of the following phrases:
*I don't care, you should think of something for us to do.
*Hey come visit me.
*You choose.
*We can just hang out.. Idk lol
*I wanna see you, idk when I have time though
*Yeah, I guess we'll just see
JUST ONCE, I would like a boy to come to me and say: Would you like to go out with me to do a fun activity I have planned at this time and on this day? Just one time.
I understand schedules may not work out, and so on. But why do I have to plan everything? If you don't make an effort to see me, I don't want to be putting in 95% while you put in 5%. No sir.
If you want to see me, you'll find a way to see me; a true test.

Secondly: Laziness. I do not want to sit here and work 40-50 hours per week while said boy of interest is sitting on his butt, unshowered, and playing video games. Some people have seriously had their life handed to them, never worked a day in their lives. Which isn't their fault, they didn't control how their parents raised them.
But we are all adults here, so get up, clean yourself up, and be a man. Work to save, work to spend, I don't care. But if you have no work ethic, I do not find you attractive.

Be smart. There are two kinds of smart. Intelligent smart and common sense smart. You should probably try to have both. Intelligent smart: Okay, so you aren't a genius, that's totally fine, I'm not either. But please learn the difference between your and you're. I don't expect perfect grammar, but could you at least use a question mark at the end of your question while texting? Show that you care just the tiniest bit about actually hearing the answer. And then there's common sense: If a girl has not texted you back since the last time you texted her, in the same day, DO NOT text her again. (Of course there are exceptions i.e. her being your gf etc etc. But if you hardly know her..) If a girl wants you to be texting her, she will be replying or give you a reason why her replies are lacking in speed. Just be smart about stuff, there's no need to send someone seven texts in a row when they very well could be ignoring you.

Be mature.

Loyalty. Now, I'm not just talking about staying faithful. I'm talking about sticking up for me (or said girl of interest). If someone is talking bad or making fun, come to my defense. I don't care if we met today or I've been dating you for a year or two, I will be fiercely loyal to my friends and family till the day I die. I feel like it isn't that much to expect the same.

Be supportive, whether things are going your way or not. When you ask me to "come hang out with you" and I tell you I have a family party with extended family, or I have a church function, whatever the case may be, the correct reply is NOT: "Oh sounds lame. You should ditch them and come see me!" Yeah, now that you say that, I want to date you.. (This is where sarcastic font would come in handy.) Let me know you're disappointed because you wanted to see me, but don't try and talk me out of something I love. Family and church come first to me. They will never be too lame for me. (See, this all comes back to: If you really want to see me, you'll make an effort. We can reschedule for a time that works for the both of us!)

Okay, I'm sure by the end of this you all think I'm the most high maintenance girl in the world, although I don't feel like any of this stuff is THAT ridiculous to ask of a man.
I'm not asking you to pay for my nails and go shopping with me and take me out on expensive, extravagant dates and watch The Notebook every week. I don't want you to clear out your whole schedule for me. I simply want someone to meet me in the middle.

50/50. I'm not sure if this idea is skewed, but I thought that's how it works.

despite my lack of recent posting

I'm going to begin again to blog. Even if no one reads this dusty old book anymore, I decided it's better for my mental health to write all this nonsense I call life, out into the open atmosphere we call the internet. Rather than to keep it in the back of my head; to rattle around and make me think far too much. So I just decided to take a looksee at my blog, I haven't looked at it since the last time I posted. Oi. It needs a major overhaul. I'd better get to work.