Pretty Positive.

Pretty positive I'm a social outcast.

Pretty.
Dang.
Positive.



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That's me..

To All Of The

Players, cheaters, suckers, and losers of the world:

You don't deserve a girl. At all.

You cheat. You lie. You lose at life. You don't know how to treat people.

To all the great guys out there: THANKS :)

KING OF ANYTHING -Sara Bareilles

MEAN -Taylor Swift

the 26th day of October

Okay. Here goes my worthwhile attempt at a somewhat decent post. It's been a while, I know.

Today, I wore the 50s long, white socks with the red keds and the rolled up skinnies. [The skinny jeans aren't in the picture because I changed for dance.] LOVED IT.

Each morning I wake up and say "What era am I gonna be today?"
Fashion: Love. Simple as that.


Dance. Mmm. Been dancing A LOT. Getting pretty dang good. At least I feel the improvement.

It. Is. Autumn.
Everywhere I go I yell "IT'S AUTMUN." I did twice today in the Walmart parking lot. Pumkins and orange leafed trees. That results in me screaming.
Also...
It sleeted today, I wouldn't call it snow quite yet, but it's certainly getting there.
How unfortunate.

Today is my sweet little sister's birthday. She is turning 8.
8-year-olds are the bomb. Here is a picture of her and I [along with our other sister Carly on the left, Elly is on the right.] The little goofball has a blue mouth from her ring pop. I bought her polka dotted rain boots!



Mmk. What else to update on? OH. I have a crush. On a boy. He's a cutie. Haha. That is all that you will be able to pry out of me. But it's just a crush, nothing more.

Logan. My wonderful redheaded missionary. We have been writing 4 page letters every week for a while now (yes, front and back). He is great. I LOVE getting letters. Look at this ADORABLE picture of him. Mmm.


The Harvest Dance was pretty dang fun. I was Barbie and Danny boy was Ken. We were STYLIN. Cutest couple there for sure ;)
Also went with Elise and her date.

Here's us girls decked out in Barbie attire. --Eyelashes.. Whew mama.


So yeah. Then I've just had school and work and shopping and sleeping and eating. Ha. I haven't done much of the sleeping or shopping. But a tad. Oo. And I got this GREAT vintage hat at Forever21. It's black and totally Audrey Hepburn. Next time I wear it, pictures will be posted.

That is life. It's hectic and crazy, but for the most part, I'm really enjoying it.
xoxoo- Laur.

Maybe, Just Maybe

I'm falling in love.

Folks, I think I've hopped on the love train.

Who knew you could fall in love through letters??

-xoxo.

P.S. Sorry, I haven't updated much. Just I've had SO much to share, but at the same time, so little.

Whew.

Right now I am overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow and gratitude. A strange combination it may be, but life has a funny way of doing that.

Two and half years ago, my uncle died from a brain tumor. He has five boys and a beautiful wife. An amazing person, more than you can imagine.

Why?

I have no idea. Not a clue. And still today, his 39th birthday, I wonder why.

God has a plan. I know it, I believe it. He is watching us.

And I'll never give up on that.

Things seems so hard, I am saddened for my dear aunt and cousins, all the way in South Carolina. I miss them so much and wish each day that I could be with them. I send my love to them.

Sometimes we don't know why things happen; they just do.

Big, huge, x's and o's to them.

I also feel like the picture is very me right now. Guessing and wild and a little crazy. I'm loving it too. This week has some fun things in store.



I'm feeling good. I'm feeling strong. I'm feeling like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing; or at least I'm trying.

I am so grateful for the things I know. For the people in my life. For my family. And for the fact that we are going to be together forever.

Love, Laur.

Real.

Lately, I've felt real. Not fake, not plastic, not stuck up, not overly smiley.

Just real.

Real conversations, real hugs, real laughs.

I like it.


P.S. Like this little number I put together? :)

xoxo.

So. Job interview today.
Interview went well.
Friendly, fun atmospere.
Minimum wage.
Looks like I'm stuck for a little while longer. There's no way I'm giving up 9 bucks for minimum.

Guess it's meant to be.

Thankfully it's a long weekend. Hopefully filled with fun.

I'm thinking I need this dress right now. Except with 20s, or some bigger bills. If only objects were made out of money.


ALSO.
Huge shout out to one of my best friends, Elise. Today is her birthday and I wish her the most. Love you, love you, love you.


Life is having some interesting twists and turns and bends lately. But all in all, it's still the same.

xox. Laur.

Laura. Is. Back.

I'm back. And I'm ready to go.

This week I will kick Satan's butt.
He deserves a good kick in the butt after all the grief and crap he has given me the past few weeks.

This past week, I decided I was going to get better, get well.

This week I:
bought myself an ipod. It's an 8 GB, and it's bright pink.
fell asleep listening to music.
chatted with a person I respect very highly; he helped me a lot.
went on a walk.
took a nap.
french tipped my nails.
actually got ready for the day.
stopped counting calories.
got on facebook less.
started settling for my best. not perfection, just my best.
got a letter and pictures from Logan.

Annnnnd. This week I have a job interview :) :)
I'm not sure how it'll go, it really just depends on the amount of money, but it'd be a beautiful change of scenery and a really good opportunity. Everything will work out how it's supposed to.

I had someone say to me this week something along the lines of "It's like you are working towards happiness. Happiness is something that is just supposed to be part of you.." I know I am paraphrasing like crazy. But that made me remember,

Happiness is a journey. Not a destination.

This whole time I think I've been waiting to arrive.

Well. I'm done waiting. I'm gonna make the happiness. I'm going to start praying again. And being motivated. And all that good stuff.
I'm done faking the happiness.
This time, it's gonna be for real.

P.S. Doesn't this photo just make you happy?

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Just so you know..

I'm probably going to be taking a breather for a little while. Time to step back, and clear my head. Re prioritize things, and think life through.

Hopefully it will be a very cleansing process.

big x's and o's to my followers, and all you that read.
Laura.

P.S. Before I go, I want to share this quirky photo with you all.

Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me

Adoring it.



There is something so raw and contemplative about this song.

Despite all the cheeriness that has been going on around me lately, much of my self inflicted cheeriness included,

I'm depressed.

And I can't figure out why I shouldn't be able to be happy.

I have so much to be grateful for. So much.

I should be sleeping right now. Or doing something worthwhile. I'm not sure if I just had the urge to write, or if I'm trying to escape the insanity of being an insomniac. Either way, I'm sure I'll regret it once morning comes and my bed beckons me more loudly than usual.

I'm tired, but I can't sleep.
I have so much to do, but I just don't want to.

I don't want to grow up, nor do I want to digress.
That just leaves me with the present, which I'm not exactly thrilled with either.

I think one of my shlumps is coming back. I've been battling these 'shlumps' for awhile now, and I thought I had myself convinced that it was all in my head. That I can choose happiness..

But where's the happiness switch? It got lost in the dark..

P.S. Did I tell yall I'm a vegetarian now? I still eat some chicken, I need the protein for dance, but other than that, I'm done with beef and pork.

accomplishments in my small little world.

The fact that I am wearing a black shirt in the picture below is most likely meaningless to everyone on the planet. Except for me. The significance of this shirt: I am now a supervisor at the place of my employment. [Okay, getting a raise is great too!!]

I feel like I work in a dead end job.

But a job, is a job. And there are so many people out there, grown adults as well, looking and hoping and wanting a job, any job, even my job.

I am so grateful for income. And my job truly isn't that bad.
I'm also trying out this whole "attitude of gratitude" thing. How's it working out for me?
P.S. Don't mind my work hair.


I would also like to express how grateful I am for comfortable clothes. Comfortable clothing is SO UNDERRATED.

Pants all the way from Georgia, ACDC tee shirt, and my dorky glasses. I feel so much better. Barefoot of course. (Again, please don't mind the work hair.)


Life seems so hopeful in some moments. Although I'm trying my best, I'm making mistakes too. [I definitely have my fair share of them so far, and many more to come, I'm sure.]
But I feel like I learn and grow every day.

The past few weeks I've loved..

visits from old friends.
comments on my blog.
the smell of my dad when I hug him.
when I photoshop a picture.
pictures from the missionaries.
saying exactly the right thing, at exactly the right time, to exactly the right person.
watching karma bite people in the butt.
emails just saying a friendly hello.
wearing my favorite bra, newly washed.
THE FEELING OF GETTING OVER THE STOMACH FLU. Yes.
having the perfect ratio of m&ms and chex mix in my mouth.
being a peacemaker.
imaginary games with my little sisters.
believing I can.
telling someone no.
my brother testifying to me that miracles are real.
finding things to love.

Life has been okay. Ups and downs, but that is life.

Love to all.
Laura.

Child-like Faith.

Please don't be overwhelmed by the amount of pictures; I know, there are quite a few.

Tonight was a very simple, calming night. I spent most of it running around outside in the fall weather with my cousins and sisters.

These kids CRACK.ME.UP. They are just so funny. It's so refreshingly nice to be able to laugh about things that are simply that; laughable. No dirty comments, no inside jokes you're left out of, no gossip. Just good humor. I love spending time with my family. And I learn so much from these children.

Then I finished the night up hanging with some friends. Friends are great.

I just feel so optimistic and hopeful in this autumn weather.

My littlest sister. Definitely the baby of the family. She is so beautiful. And that sunset!? Sheesh.


Little Dal-doo. [Dallin] He is the cutest.


Alex. It was soooo hard getting good pictures of these kids because they were always wiggling around. I loved it.


Sweet little CJ. [Calli June] Ha. She is adorable. Her shirt is filthy and she still is adorable.


Sisters. Carly and Elly.


Gorgeous sunset. Mmm. I love autumn. It was so nice outside today.


Look at this big brother comforting his little sister.. It makes me miss my big brother..


I told him to look up and that's the first thing he gave me. Feisty little guy.


My sisters were getting angry there were no pictures of me.. Ha. Such sisters.


Thanks self timer ;)


My butt looks huge.. But these little munchkins are adorable.


Unphotoshopped, Unedited, Raw, Natural, LOVE.


Elly took the camera.. Thanks for that angle baby K.


Hahaha. Never give a camera to a 7 year old..


Goofball..

The night ended with these LOVELY ladies. I've missed them so much while they've been away at college. It was nice to have them home for a weekend; to share stories and laugh and talk and analyze and tell awkward stories that would make you pee your pants.

I've just found so much faith in life's simplest and tiniest things lately. It's an uplifting idea.. To just try your best every day.

I feel like sharing my happiness, but I'm not sure how.

Love you guys. Laura.

Tomorrow is General Conference. I am so excited to hear what I need to hear.


Something that has been running through my head today:
I hate when the answer to a prayer comes, and it's not the answer you wanted at all...
Love to all, Laura..

October First.

October First.

SENSES.
I'm seeing: the fan, blowing back and forth. the green sweater I'm wearing. my pink binder.

I'm feeling: the sickening vinyl of the cheap chairs at the school: suctioning on to my legs --the curses of wearing a dress.

I'm hearing: the fan. the clicking of the keyboard - inconsistent and loud. people flirting.

I'm smelling: air? having a cold makes this sense very useless.

I'm tasting: Life cereal. Mm. and capri sun.

Can you believe it's already October..? I certainly can. Life is going by slowly it seems like. Ha. Who knows?

Last night I was watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
There was a little girl who was disabled, but she had the best attitude.

I decided I'm going to try and be like her.
My life is truly great, I have so much, I'm blessed with so much.
I'm also trying to spend less money on food. I have food at my house that is perfectly good. No need to go out and spend a bunch.
I am honestly trying to have a fresh start.

Smiling, Laura Lu.