Since You.

I haven't gone to the farmington pond.
I haven't ridden my bike for that matter.
I've saved 42 emails in my drafts; never sent.
I haven't cried that hard.
I've stopped doing random lists about myself; I don't care if anyone else knows.
I haven't fallen that hard.
I've facebook stalked you.
I've missed my glowing duck.
I've missed those summer nights.
I haven't listened to those songs; they hurt too much.

I've missed my best friend.

I've moved on.
I've convinced myself of it.
I've lived.
I've loved.
I've become who I am..

Recently

Recently, I was going through all of my old/new/whatever posts and labeling them, because at first with my blog I didn't really understand the point of labels.

ANYWAYS. I came across a comment I've never read until now.

"You're so fake. If there's anyone in this world I can't stand it's you. Just thought I would brighten your day with my feelings :) "

I don't know who this is, or if this person even knows me. People can be so cruel. Everyone we meet if fighting a different battle, and everyone is going through something that we don't know about and we can't see.
So I vote we all think about things before we say/type/text them. Loving really isn't that hard. I am who I am.
Don't hate me until I give you a reason to.
Don't judge me until you know the whole story.
Yeah, I can be cliche. Yeah, I have issues. Yeah, I do get annoying. And yes, I can be a complainer.

BUT THAT IS WHO I AM.

If you don't like who I am, then that is too bad for you.

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what can't change. Love deeply, and forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have no regrets.

I'm just trying to live the best I can.

Shelter Me Oh Genius World

I'm trying desperately, it's just so hard to persevere
Stupid girl-- Shoulda know. I shoulda known.
Sometimes what's best is so unclear.
Maybe I was naive.
Maybe. Someday we'll figure all this out.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert.
Don't seek what you don't need from me.
I'm gonna trade my old shoes for new feet; I grab a new seat..
How bout a round of applause? Standing ovation?
Now it's time to go. Curtain's finally closing.
It's a silly time to learn to swim on your way down.
How can I pretend that I don't see?
I'm just a pawn in your game, and this is checkmate.

Thank you to Rob Thomas, Cartel, Jessie Funk, Ryan Pope, Taylor Swift, Rhianna, Tegan & Sara, Making April, and Evanescence. For helping me out with this post.

Today is a rainy, rainy day. Just like the storm inside of me... I need to choose happiness. But today just isn't a happy day.. I hear the thunder and the lightning and all I can do is agree with the sky. xox. Laur.

Day Twenty. Your Favorite Kids Show.

Do you differentiate shows and movies? I do. But I can't choose. So I shall do both.

Lamb Chop. Wow. I don't know if yall have seen this show. [Am I old?!]
This show was GREAT. Her name was Shari, which was my grandmother's name
(I think I want to blog about her next),
and she looked a lot like my grandmother too.


This show was so cute and so fun. It entertained me as a child for sure.
This woman was splendid and charismatic.
She then died of cancer (as my grandma did), that was a sad day.
I'll love you forever Lamb chops!



Oh Aladdin.

ALADDIN. My favorite movie as a child, and still one of my favorites.

Sure, you'd expect me to love Cinderella or Snow White or Beauty and the Beast, just like every little girl who grew up in the 90s.

Nope. Me and my brother could watch this show for weeks on end and not tire of it. I love the thrill and the action and how Aladdin was different than all the rest of those stuck up princes. <3>

Do you ever

have those days where everything seems hopeless?
When it seems like nothing is ever going to work out for you
and you're never going to mean something to anyone
and every fiber of the world is just out to get you?

Like it wouldn't make a difference if you were here or not?

Yeah.
That's today..

I'mma Cynic. So Sue Me.

Tonight I watched a young couple come into my work. They were holding hands, and as I continued to watch them, I realized I was mentally having a conversation with the girl.
"He will hurt you. I promise he will. He will let you think that you mean the world to him.
You don't."

Since when did I become such a cynic to love? Well, since I've watched it fail over and over again. Miserably.
Yes, I have seen it work out. With my parents. And family members. That's about it.
I realized that having been crushed by guy after guy has done damage to my mental view of
love.
Not just normal crushing. But cheating and lying.
Love is a wonderful, beautiful thing. I still believe in love.... Don't I?

Every time I see a couple in public, even if they aren't all over each other, I automatically think the worst. "He's cheating on you." "He doesn't even love you anymore." "He's using you."
A friend was telling me about his first kiss the other day when he said "But I don't want to do it too much. I want to keep it special." My automatic thought was "Yeah right."

I really do WANT to believe in love. I'm so grateful for aunts and uncles, and my mother and my father. For showing me what true love is.

I'm gonna work on this whole "believing in love" thing.
And I'm grateful to the genuinely good guys out there. Treat your women right.
K??? K.

Thanks for listening to my random cynical-ness.
Loves. Laura.

There's so much i wish i could take back.. Especially time. The summer is coming to an end. People are leaving. This is so hard..