Ready for an adventure...

Life is busy. Dance rehearsals all this week.
Dance concert, Friday and Saturday. Come if you can! It's at Viewmont. :)
AP tests are next week, along with my birthday and prom.
All I can think of that I want for my birthday is shoes.. And I don't need more shoes.
Should I go with gray vans or red toms?
Give me your opinion please.

I'm missing my brother a lot.
I miss hanging out with him and running random errands.

I got pulled over for the first time yesterday.
It was scary.
Didn't even get a warning though, so that was nice.
Just need to remember to stop for 3 seconds at those stop signs. Hah.

Been happier lately. For no reason at all.
It might be because I haven't been at work in a while..
I love most of the people I work with.. If I worked with Linds every night it'd be easier to be happier.
It's just a stressful job.
But I need the money..
After these busy two weeks I'll be back to working.
Blehhh.

This summer Elise and I are going to Cali for our senior trip.
So excited.
Beach every day.
Photoshoots.
Getting tan.
SUN.
Shopping.
Excitement beyond belief.
Booked the hotel today!
Talked about flights..
It's just downright, overwhelmingly, exciting.
I can't think about it too much because then I just go into slacker mode and want to give up on school altogether.
Must remain strong.

I love my friends.
I honestly don't have a lot of close friends that I feel like I can turn to.
But those few people who I trust and love: thank you.
You mean the world to me.

Tomorrow is a new day and the beginning of a new week.

Goals:
Smile. Every day.
Be nice and try and talk to people in my dance class.. I don't fit in with the most of them, but I'll be spending the entire week with them so I might as well try.
Eat a lot healthier. I've been eating junk lately.
Save money.
Wear my retainer every night.
Try something new every day.
Pray every night.

Just be happy. :)

This looks like a depressing picture of me; it's not. Just serious.


xoxo Laura.

Just Talking To Myself

Yes, I wish I had an easier job. I can't stand my job.

But you're lucky to have one.. A lot of people don't.

Yeah, I wish people didn't lie to me; it's like a regular occurrence lately.

It's fine, that's people for you.
"You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself."

I wish people kept their promises,

they don't, so get used to it. No one is perfect.

I wish my bank account was bottomless.

Hey, at least there is something in there, right?

And I have always wished that I could change someone's life. For the good.

And maybe, just maybe, someday you will.

I wish I wasn't so sore.

But that's okay. The muscles are just getting stronger.
You are getting stronger.

via

Just wishing to myself.
Life'll be okay.
I know it will.
Maybe I'm meant for little things.
And maybe I'm meant for huge things..
I am just going to have to wait and see.

I didn't realize until one of my friends started doin it, but I constantly complain.
I complain on my blog.
I complain on facebook.
I complain at work.
I complain at school.
I complain to my family.

LIFE IS HARD. GET OVER IT AND BE HAPPY.

There is never going to be a time for more than a day where everything is absolutely perfect.

So accept it and move on.
Mmkk self?
Mmk.

Love.
I hope you find everything you're looking for..

Here's the deal.

There's probably a lot of people who don't like me or don't respect me.
Go ahead and judge.

That is fine.

Because guess what.
I've come to terms.
And I love myself.
I'm trying my best..

Tonight was a good night.
I have best friends who love me enough to massage my wrists when they're sore.
yes, my wrists.

two dance rehearsals today.
i love the feeling of dancing.
it feels.. completing. helps me pull my life a little bit together.

peace.

meh.

wearing eddie's gray hat and my new runner runner t shirt today.
dunno why, but i love this outfit.
i look like a dude; that is fine with me.

i'm really done with work.
i'm just not a fan of my job.
i am a fan of money, however. unfortunate combo.

6 am dance rehearsal today mixed with me not getting off work till 11:30 last night..?
tired as all get out.

need to finish my online class today.
badly.
lots to do, not a lot of motivation.

"things change. and people leave. and life doesn't stop for anyone."
i cried myself to sleep last night; ridiculous.
i need to buck up.
i'm ready to go under the covers, never come back.

sigh. i'll get through this. Just an off day..

sick

i'm sick.
i'm so sick.
not only do my teeth and gums hurt, and my stomach [just threw up] and my head is pounding.
but my spirit is sick.

i've lost part of myself this past week.

not trying to be dramatic. but i really don't know who i want to be anymore.
i need two seperate lives. my party life, and my goodie church life.
both would make me happy; just in different ways.

it has been a spring break i will never forget.
some good ways; some bad ways.

tomorrow i'm going to a rocket to the moon concert.
so stoked.
they are playing with runner runner and go radio. it should be a good time.
much needed.

there are very few people who are my true friends right now.
and for that, i am very grateful.

i miss my brother. and i need him badly right now.

this week i'm gonna kick school in the trash.
just you wait and see.
i hope..

xo.


p.s. this photo made me cry.

Hey, this one is for you.

yeah, you bi.



Been having an amazing spring break. Much more amazing-ness to come I hope.
I love my friends.
xoxo Laura

How I Spent My First Day of Spring Break:

...Mixed with some movies and food and friends. I am truly blessed.

Sorry my updates have been so short lately. So much going on. So much happiness. The only thing that would make me more happy: SUNSHINE AND WARMTH.
Winter just keeps trying to make a comeback.
I'm ready for summer. Ready for shorts and lying in the grass.

xox Laur

Regrets.

You Could Be Happy

You're right, picture below, I could be happy.
So I should probably try and figure my life out..

I'm not sure why I keep thinking this over and over again, or what it means, so I'm just going to type it out and try and make sense of it.

I hate how everything in life is so fake.

That's my thought for this night. The world is so fake. So many people, especially people at my school are just so fake. I can hardly stand it. Why not be straight up and be yourself?
I just don't get it.

That's all that's on my mind tonight.
I have a headache.
Going to a jazz game tomorrow.
Working Saturday.
Next week is spring break, hells yes.
Seriously, I cannot wait to just party it up with no school.
Hm.
I'm tired.

Loves.

P.S. Have you seen the show 'Mobbed'? I love it.

Alright, Imma Do This Post

Things are changing.
I always say this because, well, they're always changing.
But really, this time, they are.
I'm changing what I believe and who I've been my whole life.
Hm.
It's exciting and scary.

Life is meant to be lived to the fullest.

"Not all those who wander are lost."
And I'm not going to get lost.

I'm just gonna go on a little trip and find out more about who I am.
Cheeeeeeesy.

Right now obsessed with:
Pink Floyd.
To Be Juliet's Secret.
The Icarus Account.

and lots more. I am so obsessed with music. there is just SO much GOOD music.
and stumble. still obsessed with stumble. and facebook.
and life.
and dance.

the only thing I wish I WASN'T obsessed with: work and school.
yuck.

uhm. i'm following my gut and my heart this time; not my head.
i'm pretty excited.
i'm not gong to let life get me down.

xo Lu.

Loving this.

Images that are part of me.

THANK THE WORLD FOR STUMBLE.

It brought me to this beautiful website that I am going to selfishly keep to myself.
Ah. I have fallen in love with this website. Here are some of my favorites.
Things that are nestled inside of me; waiting to pour out.
[Also, don't forget to scroll down to my entry under this, because it is reasonably new and fresh.]

The one above is my personal favorite.

Definitely feeling this one on top right now.

Love,
Laur

p.s. i don't own rights to any of these pictures. lol. dur.

Today Is The Day

that I finally update my blog.
I have no idea what to update..
Because my life is pretty colorless right now.

I've had this post up for 15 minutes.. Nothing much has come to me yet.
This picture: I wish I felt it. I wish it painfully.
But I don't.


I think I'm ready to just get in my car and drive; away.
I have a major and constant headache.
A lot of the time, there's no reason for me to get up in the morning.
Here's what I can't stand about it all: there's no big reason for me to feel this way.

There's people out there with cancer, or heartbreak, or families splitting up; people in Japan with their lives practically falling apart.

And here I am; living my life bored, tired, somber, and low-spirited.
WHY.

Why can't I just choose happiness and be happy and happiness is a journey blah blah blah.
It's not that easy.
I wish it were.

In other news:
Next week I start my last term of high school.
Praise the world. I hate high school; I hang out with certain people, I'm not looking to make new friends. It's not like I'm joining clubs and "getting involved." Ha. I don't participate in the drama or relationships of high school. I just steer clear. I'm just not cut out for high school.

Work. I work all the time. What else is new?
I hate it.

All that my friends do is party. I love them. But drugs and drinking just aren't my scene. Looks like I'll be the permanent designated driver for a while. That's fine with me. :]

Dance: 4 pieces going on right now. Concert dates: April 29, 30, May 2.
Come. :) You'll love it.

Uhm. I've gone shopping a lot lately.
Ah my life is boring and stupid.
I'm making lots of money and saving it.
Impressed? Me too.

Love you guys.

Things will always work out in the end, if they aren't working out, then it's not the end.

Have you ever just watched the little line on your computer screen flash?
Waiting for you to write something?
Your hands sit on the keyboard and twitch, but nothing comes.
Whenever I type something out, I just backspace again.

I don't have words for how I feel right now.
Dramatic.. I hate being dramatic.
But don't tell me I'm dramatic.
Because this is my blog and this is how I feel; if you don't like it, get off my blog.
Hah, sorry, feeling a little feisty today.

It feels like everyone in my life, now has other more important people to see, or more important things to do.
I'll be honest, I've been distant for a while now. I can see why they've busied themselves with other things.

But it's hard feeling like an outsider in my own life.

I do though. Almost daily, I feel like the people I've loved for so long and have been with me through everything, we're all falling apart.
Maybe I'm the one falling apart.

In this space I just wrote a huge list of everyone in my life and everything they are up to.
I then highlighted and backspaced, because I don't want this to be a post on trying to guilt trip anyone; people are busy; they have lives. I understand that better than anyone.

I just miss those summer days where I woke up to endless and numberless plans.
Just waiting to see what was in store for the day.

And now I wake up having a pretty laid out idea of what's going to happen.
School, work, homework.
I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning.
How boring is that?
I miss my friends.. I feel like I'm losing a lot of them. And through that, I'm losing a lot of who I am.

"People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out."
[I hate to quote Taylor Swift, I do, but it's the most true phrase for my life right now.

I just miss me.


Maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself.
Good solution.

xox. Laura.

People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out.

A Little Update

These past couple weeks, I've had so many rasberry-cheesecake-subway cookies, I think I could die. And somehow I still love them. Also, lots of Dr. Pepper.
I've worked everyday this week except for Wednesday. My job really isn't all that bad. I'm lucky. And most of the people I work with, I trust and I love.

My last post didn't mean a lot. Sorry to those who thought it did. It was me just getting some thoughts out of my head and through my fingers to the keyboard.
No secret meanings, no signs.
Just my mind, just my life, everything deserves a chance to be written.
Hah, I never meant my blog to be dramaville, but it somehow turns out that way every once in a while.

Listening to constantly: Nevershoutnever, Chase Coy, He Is We. A little bit of Vampire Weekend.
I've been obsessed with music as of late. I mean, I'm rarely not obsessed with it, but every second of my day possible, I've had my ipod playing.
It's nice.
It changes my mood drastically, not necessarily good or bad moods. Just different.

This week is a week of change for me. I'm changing. I think it's good. I am still a little stressed and worried, but that's life eh?

I am so ready for summer. I'm cold all the time, I need the sunshine to be happy.



This was slightly random. But meh.

I don't remember where I found this picture, but I love it. I'm feeling it right now.

xoox. Laura.

Since You.

I haven't gone to the farmington pond.
I haven't ridden my bike for that matter.
I've saved 42 emails in my drafts; never sent.
I haven't cried that hard.
I've stopped doing random lists about myself; I don't care if anyone else knows.
I haven't fallen that hard.
I've facebook stalked you.
I've missed my glowing duck.
I've missed those summer nights.
I haven't listened to those songs; they hurt too much.

I've missed my best friend.

I've moved on.
I've convinced myself of it.
I've lived.
I've loved.
I've become who I am..

Words To Live By. Thanks Marilyn.

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, but most of them - actually pretty much all of them- are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

— Marilyn Monroe

1:31:51 <3 Haha. I love life.

I love my best friend.

Hah, what happens with two best friends who have a day off of work?!
Random photoshoot. So there are some pictures for you to fancy.

So I feel like I haven't blogged in a while.
There hasn't been much new with me I guess..

Having a good time hanging out with my boyfriend. This sounds wrong at first, so don't take it wrong, k? But it's hard to adjust to having a boyfriend from being single. Don't get me wrong. I love every second of it. Every second. But sometimes I forget what it's like, ya feel me?

Still love it. And him.

OH. So. He Is We concert was WONDEROUS. They played All About Us, And Run, Happily Ever After, Forever and Ever, and a few other songs.
Allred, Discourse, and Lady Danville opened.

Allred- I swear they open for everyone, haha.
Discourse(s?)- Laaame. All their songs sounded the same.
Lady Danville- LOVED! Almost as much as He Is We. Almost.. Haha. They were really funny too.

So yes, good times.

I've been working and dancing lately. And being frustrated with myself.
I need to learn to find peace in solitude.
Plus I need to clean my room.

xox Laur.