Tumble

Lifeofaluberry.tumblr.com

I love my job. And money.

I think I might

Start just posting everything I post on my tumblr [that I write] onto here... I'm kind lame.

So if you want my tumblr, ask.
Or you can continue to read this.

Yippee for life.
It's really good.

I'm happy for everyone who is happy.

I thought I saved it as a draft.

I can't believe I deleted it.

I thought I for sure I would have kept it somewhere.. Nope.

It's gone. I wonder if you have a copy.
I would rewrite it if I had to.

You always fought for me.
Should I fight too?
I want a friendship.

Is that too much to ask?
With us.. Maybe it is.

All my love,
Lu.

Something I Wrote Last Night

November 13, 2011

I know when I start to truly care about something. 
My face gets really hot, I feel heated.
Pink on the surface.
And there's this lump in my throat.
Something I can't force down. Won't go away.
That's when I know I've lost it. I really do care.
More than breath. More than I did before. I care too much.
And I scare me, Badly. So badly, that tears sting the back of my eyes. I won't let them. But they're there.
That's when I know I truly, deeply care.
Shit.
I hate when I start to care.
Maybe I'm just scared of caring more than you do.

L.E. Morrow

Math signs

Tumblr is greater than or equal to blogger.

BBQ Lays > any other chips.

Water < Dr Pepper.

Sharing your life with someone > anything imaginable.

Your Name

Last night I had a dream.
In the dream, I had a seizure.
And when it was over, I awoke and all I would say was his name.

I called out for him. Over and over again.
The only person I wanted was him.

And then I woke up.


"Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone."

You know how stubborn I am. But I'll just admit it. I'll just say it.
I miss you.

New Chapter

I don't think I could have thought of a more cliche title.

I'm going to start blogging at least weekly again.
That, my friends, is not an empty promise.

And why? Because as my platitude of a title says, I'm starting a new chapter.

I've moved into a new apartment with two other girls. They're both on the rugby team and both swear like sailors. Which means I have begun that habit as well.
There is never a dull moment.

Long story short, we, along with about three hundred students got kicked out of our on campus housing and were forced to relocate. You can read the story here.
Disaster to say the least.

I broke up with recent boyfriend. Things like that are hard, but it's for the best.

I am beginning to love Cedar City. So many mini hippie shops here. Which means awesome posters and great jewelry for cheap cheap cheap.
And as a college student, that's my favorite word. Actually, I should probably say inexpensive. Doesn't sound very classy to say my favorite word is cheap.. Hah.

I have so much I feel like I want to say right now, but another time I suppose.

Xoxo Lu

black ops?

i'm bored out of my mind.
finished all my homework, and my boyfriend and his roommate are playing black ops.
BORED.

i'm wearing a beanie from walmart right now. it's definitely not mine. might be slater's?

i'm so hungry right now. mickey d's sounds amazing.

mmm. college food. hah.

life is super unexciting right about now.

food. homework. study. random stuuuuuff.

cupcakes. sierra and i love cupcakes.

aren't we just awkwardly great?
so as previously spoken about, the wiz-little hippie shop-, has AAAAMAZING rings. amazing. and not badly priced either. i wanted to spend about a hundred dollars there. i got three.

waiting for my bank account to allow more.

i'm so poor right now. i really need a job.

i feel like all my blog posts are the same.

i'm not like sloan millward with her elaborate stories of concussions and car alarms.

oh. it snowed today. tada.

i hate it already.

you know what bothers me......?

CRAZY PEOPLE.

hahaha, there are quite a few out there..

i'm over crazy people.

mm. i think i want to go make me some Ramen with yellow peppers.

oh wait, boyfriend just said he will buy me mcdonalds. :)

he is a goooooood person.

haha, but really, besides buying me mcdonalds, he is still awesome.

okay. well this has been a very uneventful post.

fun fact: duane almost made me pee my pants today with his childhood stories.... hilarious.

xoxo. Laura.

Can't stop listening.

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=XHAGsCZmqbk

Would You Like To Know?

Wanna know something ridiculous? Like is freaking amazing; so amazing.

Uhm, college is the time of my life.
I live off of the following: chip&salsa, nutella tortillas, and ramen with yellow peppers in them. aaahmazing.
i go to class occasionally... ha, just kidding. i go to class. i study. i feel like i'm doing well.
today. get this. okay, it might blow your mind.

i studied ONE subject, for a whole hour. STUDIED. who am i??
i better rock my history test tomorrow.

as for social life. i have awesome friends.
ryan lights up my life. he is retarded. and i love it.
he is one of those people that can INSTANTLY make me laugh.

sierra and i are like soul mates.
we are meant to be. haha, we have the same reactions to situations, and we have too much fun together.
we found a really tiny and cool hippie shop here in the small town of cedar city. its called "The Wiz."
i have a feeling i'll be spending lots of money there.

well, if i had money. the only thing that would make my life better right now is if i had a job. i feel like i've applied anywhere and everywhere. i am running out of money very quickly.. and i am slightly panicked.
but i am trying to just enjoy the ride, and take what comes and love it.

life is working out according to His plan... I just have to trust.
this is the way things are supposed to be.

today, i wrote a letter. and i am committing to send it.
i hope you will understand.

right now is a time in my life where i need to do what is best for me.
and i am trying to use my best judgement.

these are so many random thoughts meshed together.
speaking of random.
I MISS MY FAVORITE ASIAN. Ali Lindsey is probably one of my favorite people on earth.

sigh. school.... MAN. college is HARD.... hahaha.
xoxox Laura

i love college. eyyyy.

so i haven't blogged in forever and a day.
and for that, i apologize.

i am now living on my own.
going to suu.
hanging out with my three favorite boys.
we are the core four and they are already some of my best friends.

also have a core four with some girls in my hall.
they are sweet.

living on my own is the bomb.
but i need a job.
i am so poor right now.
i have about 25 dollars to my name.
yikes.

i'm losing weight like crazy and i love it.
i straightened my hair today for the first time in almost a year probably?
craziness.

my life is still pretty boring.
i've noticed this in the past week: i am awkward around girls.
i like hanging with dudes a lot better.
baseball.
video games.

i hate girls..
haha.

that's all for now.
xox

so i just got a new keyboard for my ipad.

and it is for sure a gooooooood time.

If I Choose

I am going to start laughing more and crying less.
I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I'm going to start wearing more fun and spunky outfits like I wore today.
(I would post a picture.. But I can't figure it out via iPad. Any tips would be very appreciated!)

I'm going to continue to ride the pink, beach bike. Everywhere I can.
And continue listening to the oh so wonderful voice of Andrew Allen; if you like goodness, I would suggest checking him out.
And Parachute. He Is We. Damato. I Call Fives. Sparks The Rescue.
Greatness of all sorts.
In fact, I want to be listening to music 23 out of 24 hours of the day.

Hang out more with people who matter to me and I matter to them.
And less with people who don't.

Smile more. Why not?

Make more friends and less enemies.
I'm going to stop caring about what I eat.

I've started going to the gym every friday. And I'm going to continue to do it. And feel great.
I'm going to just wear my hair curly every day, let it loose, let it go wild.

More juice.

I went to the farmers market and got henna and had delicious samples.
Went on a blind date last night to a Real soccer game. What a blast.
Went to two concerts this week, both so different and so enjoyable.

I do lead a lovely life.
So what if continual hardships come my way? Nothing I can't handle, yeah?

I am going to stop going out and spending money on food.
Im going to dance in more places, and take chances. And risks.

Goodness. Today is an epiphany sort of day.

Much love, Laura.

room

maybe i don't have room in my life right now.

i've had one true friend lately.
i'm frustrated and tired.
working every day.
going to concerts on thursday and friday.
BEYOND excited.. it'll be much needed.

i love summer.
got a new room/switched with my sister.
my closet is HUGE. :)

got an Ipad 2 for graduation.
amazing.
yes.

i'm going to bed.
that is my stupid update on life.

i've been boring lately.

it's true, i have.
and who in heaven's name is going to want to read a blog post entitled "i've been boring lately."?
not many people.

i've been working working working.
i smell like subway. i was there for 7.5 hours today.

i want it to be august already.
i want to move, and move to cedar city.
i want to find out who my roommate is and plan exciting things together..
.. i hope we get along.

i want to stop stressing about money for college and find out what my fafsa gave me.
please be a lot.

i want to switch rooms to have a bigger room with a bigger closet.
i need that actually..

i obviously want a lot.
but it's all quite simple.

logan, my missionary friend, comes home in a month and 5 days.
today was his birthday.
:) happy birthday dear red head.

i have felt like i only have a few true friends lately..
for those people-- i'm truly grateful.
i love the people who give me support in my life.

i know this is a boring post.
i just don't have much going on in my life except for planning college and WORK.

i am going to trek at the end of june..
i have no idea what possessed me to do that...
ugh. regretting it already.
then family reunion and CAAAAAAAALI in july.
and school in august.
just counting the days. :]

xoxo
Laura.

lucky charms

where to begin this post?

i graduated.
that's cool i guess.

i got my first massage.
it was more awkward than i expected it to be.
the whole naked thing just felt a wee bit strange.
went to celebrate ali's birthday.
happy birthday you 19 year old asian!

right now it's about 1:30 am and I'm eating lucky charms.
i eat all the little graham things first.
that way i can reward myself by eating all the marshmellows at once.
i think it's a pretty great deal.

life is still pretty stressful outside of high school. who knew?
trying to figure out job stuff.. not going so well.
trying to figure out school stuff.. also not going so well.
check engine light in my car is still on..
still waiting on my new phone to arrive.. praying that the warranty covers it.

EVERYTHING IS SORE.

i'm growing tired of keeping everyone's secrets. i just want to blurt them all out.
right here.
right now.

blank told me that blank is still doing blank with blank.
and blank told me that blank has been doing blank behind my back and blank would like to know who told me about blank.
A;ELFAE;LFJ;ALJF;AEIALISFISAFKCZLKFJLKERHERALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*&%$#%$#
honestly.

so i saw "the roommate" this weekend. creep. beyond creep. just plain strange.

starting tomorrow i am putting myself back on a sleeping and eating schedule.
i have gotten majorly out of hand.
today i worked. tomorrow i work. the next day i work.
lovely.
i really actually don't mind my job.
just hate the fact that i have to work sundays.

but life doesn't always work out how you plan. better get used to it..

xo. Laura.

A Ridiculous Amount

Of time.
It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I last posted, and I figure I should do something about it.
So here goes nothing.

You have to understand I have more than one best friend. I have ... five. Ish. And a lot of these updates are about my best friends; so bear with.

A best friend of mine Devyn: today was his birthday. Happy birthday bu. :) I love that kid and we are so very similar.
If I were a guy, it'd be him. Ha, strange, but true.

Another best friend of mine, Ali, is home for the summer, unexpectedly.
---She just showed up at my work, and we stared at each other, and I asked what she was doing. She told me she came home for the summer. We ran to each other and hugged and cried. Tender.
We talked about everything today.
There is just something different about talking to her than anyone else.

I'm graduating high school in a week. This is insane. What am I doing? Who am I?
I'm so excited. (:
Excited isn't even the right world.
ESTATIC.

My sleeping schedule has been so yicky lately. Earlier this week-- I slept for 21 hours straight.
There may be something wrong with me.

I don't have much else to say.
Oh, sent out my graduation announcements today.
Weird.
They looked like this:



Exciting I guess.

On a sadder note,
the screen on my ipod cracked. Still works though.
My phone just STOPPED working... need to send it in and see if my warranty covers it...
The check engine light in my car came on.

All this nonsense started to fall apart within 2 days.
Oh, and today I paid 45 dollars in parking fines.
THAT's awesome...

I've felt put together lately.
Since when am I composed?
I feel like I need to run wild.
I'm not used to being the grown up one.
I don't think I like it.

Been listening to this song nonstop:
If It Means A Lot To You -A Day To Remember
LOOOOOOOOVE.

Life is pretty good for the most part.
There are huge downs and huge ups.
It's a rolllercoooooassssterrr!

All my love,

sure am learning it.

I wish I was just 'fine' all the time.
Because when you're happy it's just such a long ways down to sadness,
but at least when I fall from being fine to being bad it isn't that big of a drop.

Does that make sense?

Nah, probably not.

It's one in the morning and I'm sitting here eating salt and vinegar chips.
I want more than anything to be able to cry right now.
But I can't cry, as much as I want to, as much as I would like to force myself to,
I can't.
Isn't that just STUPID?

Laura: Hey, body, it's yourself again. Uhm, could you just give up a few tears? Ya know? Release some kind of emotion?
Body: Nah, thanks, I'm just going to be as stubborn as possible and bottle it up forever and ever until you're sixty when it's all going to come flooding out once you hit menopause.

Hahahaha. I have no idea where that little conversation came from.
It was pretty humourous to me though.

I haven't talked things out with myself via blog for quite awhile now. It feels nice.

Laur: What are you doing?
I have no idea.
Hah, I'm not sad or depressed.
There's no reason for that.
Nor am I upset.

I am quitely pounding my fists inside.
That may be a strange thing to say and it may not make sense, but it portrays how I'm feeling perfectly.

Still trying to figure out college stuff. Thought I had it all figured out... Nope.
SUU is back in to the possibilities.
Shoot.

Dance concert is over.
AP tests are over.
Now time to focus on making money.
College=money.
Bummmmmmer.

I just want to have a good time.
Why can't my heart or my head let me do that?

Because you're Laura.

You're the girl that puts up walls and then instead of slowly letting people get through them,
you crush every wall and let people storm the city.
That, or Option B: you never take the walls down.

You're the girl that lets herself stay up till three am, just because you hate to lay down in bed with all those thoughts. You stay up till you can hardly stand to keep your eyes open any longer.

You laugh loudly, and you say too many sarcastic remarks; that's why people are scared of you, you know that right?
People think you're stuck up. Little do they know, you're just guarded.

You're just fine darling, don't worry about it.
At least that's what I'll keep telling myself.

love. la.