You Could Be Happy

You're right, picture below, I could be happy.
So I should probably try and figure my life out..

I'm not sure why I keep thinking this over and over again, or what it means, so I'm just going to type it out and try and make sense of it.

I hate how everything in life is so fake.

That's my thought for this night. The world is so fake. So many people, especially people at my school are just so fake. I can hardly stand it. Why not be straight up and be yourself?
I just don't get it.

That's all that's on my mind tonight.
I have a headache.
Going to a jazz game tomorrow.
Working Saturday.
Next week is spring break, hells yes.
Seriously, I cannot wait to just party it up with no school.
Hm.
I'm tired.

Loves.

P.S. Have you seen the show 'Mobbed'? I love it.

Alright, Imma Do This Post

Things are changing.
I always say this because, well, they're always changing.
But really, this time, they are.
I'm changing what I believe and who I've been my whole life.
Hm.
It's exciting and scary.

Life is meant to be lived to the fullest.

"Not all those who wander are lost."
And I'm not going to get lost.

I'm just gonna go on a little trip and find out more about who I am.
Cheeeeeeesy.

Right now obsessed with:
Pink Floyd.
To Be Juliet's Secret.
The Icarus Account.

and lots more. I am so obsessed with music. there is just SO much GOOD music.
and stumble. still obsessed with stumble. and facebook.
and life.
and dance.

the only thing I wish I WASN'T obsessed with: work and school.
yuck.

uhm. i'm following my gut and my heart this time; not my head.
i'm pretty excited.
i'm not gong to let life get me down.

xo Lu.

Loving this.

Images that are part of me.

THANK THE WORLD FOR STUMBLE.

It brought me to this beautiful website that I am going to selfishly keep to myself.
Ah. I have fallen in love with this website. Here are some of my favorites.
Things that are nestled inside of me; waiting to pour out.
[Also, don't forget to scroll down to my entry under this, because it is reasonably new and fresh.]

The one above is my personal favorite.

Definitely feeling this one on top right now.

Love,
Laur

p.s. i don't own rights to any of these pictures. lol. dur.

Today Is The Day

that I finally update my blog.
I have no idea what to update..
Because my life is pretty colorless right now.

I've had this post up for 15 minutes.. Nothing much has come to me yet.
This picture: I wish I felt it. I wish it painfully.
But I don't.


I think I'm ready to just get in my car and drive; away.
I have a major and constant headache.
A lot of the time, there's no reason for me to get up in the morning.
Here's what I can't stand about it all: there's no big reason for me to feel this way.

There's people out there with cancer, or heartbreak, or families splitting up; people in Japan with their lives practically falling apart.

And here I am; living my life bored, tired, somber, and low-spirited.
WHY.

Why can't I just choose happiness and be happy and happiness is a journey blah blah blah.
It's not that easy.
I wish it were.

In other news:
Next week I start my last term of high school.
Praise the world. I hate high school; I hang out with certain people, I'm not looking to make new friends. It's not like I'm joining clubs and "getting involved." Ha. I don't participate in the drama or relationships of high school. I just steer clear. I'm just not cut out for high school.

Work. I work all the time. What else is new?
I hate it.

All that my friends do is party. I love them. But drugs and drinking just aren't my scene. Looks like I'll be the permanent designated driver for a while. That's fine with me. :]

Dance: 4 pieces going on right now. Concert dates: April 29, 30, May 2.
Come. :) You'll love it.

Uhm. I've gone shopping a lot lately.
Ah my life is boring and stupid.
I'm making lots of money and saving it.
Impressed? Me too.

Love you guys.

Things will always work out in the end, if they aren't working out, then it's not the end.

Have you ever just watched the little line on your computer screen flash?
Waiting for you to write something?
Your hands sit on the keyboard and twitch, but nothing comes.
Whenever I type something out, I just backspace again.

I don't have words for how I feel right now.
Dramatic.. I hate being dramatic.
But don't tell me I'm dramatic.
Because this is my blog and this is how I feel; if you don't like it, get off my blog.
Hah, sorry, feeling a little feisty today.

It feels like everyone in my life, now has other more important people to see, or more important things to do.
I'll be honest, I've been distant for a while now. I can see why they've busied themselves with other things.

But it's hard feeling like an outsider in my own life.

I do though. Almost daily, I feel like the people I've loved for so long and have been with me through everything, we're all falling apart.
Maybe I'm the one falling apart.

In this space I just wrote a huge list of everyone in my life and everything they are up to.
I then highlighted and backspaced, because I don't want this to be a post on trying to guilt trip anyone; people are busy; they have lives. I understand that better than anyone.

I just miss those summer days where I woke up to endless and numberless plans.
Just waiting to see what was in store for the day.

And now I wake up having a pretty laid out idea of what's going to happen.
School, work, homework.
I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning.
How boring is that?
I miss my friends.. I feel like I'm losing a lot of them. And through that, I'm losing a lot of who I am.

"People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out."
[I hate to quote Taylor Swift, I do, but it's the most true phrase for my life right now.

I just miss me.


Maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself.
Good solution.

xox. Laura.

People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out.

A Little Update

These past couple weeks, I've had so many rasberry-cheesecake-subway cookies, I think I could die. And somehow I still love them. Also, lots of Dr. Pepper.
I've worked everyday this week except for Wednesday. My job really isn't all that bad. I'm lucky. And most of the people I work with, I trust and I love.

My last post didn't mean a lot. Sorry to those who thought it did. It was me just getting some thoughts out of my head and through my fingers to the keyboard.
No secret meanings, no signs.
Just my mind, just my life, everything deserves a chance to be written.
Hah, I never meant my blog to be dramaville, but it somehow turns out that way every once in a while.

Listening to constantly: Nevershoutnever, Chase Coy, He Is We. A little bit of Vampire Weekend.
I've been obsessed with music as of late. I mean, I'm rarely not obsessed with it, but every second of my day possible, I've had my ipod playing.
It's nice.
It changes my mood drastically, not necessarily good or bad moods. Just different.

This week is a week of change for me. I'm changing. I think it's good. I am still a little stressed and worried, but that's life eh?

I am so ready for summer. I'm cold all the time, I need the sunshine to be happy.



This was slightly random. But meh.

I don't remember where I found this picture, but I love it. I'm feeling it right now.

xoox. Laura.

Since You.

I haven't gone to the farmington pond.
I haven't ridden my bike for that matter.
I've saved 42 emails in my drafts; never sent.
I haven't cried that hard.
I've stopped doing random lists about myself; I don't care if anyone else knows.
I haven't fallen that hard.
I've facebook stalked you.
I've missed my glowing duck.
I've missed those summer nights.
I haven't listened to those songs; they hurt too much.

I've missed my best friend.

I've moved on.
I've convinced myself of it.
I've lived.
I've loved.
I've become who I am..