Have you ever just been upset for no good reason? Sad, for no good reason? Idk why. But that's what I am. Sad. Whyyy..?
I don't even know what to write about! I feel like I wanna pour my soul out and get it all out there.. But I dunno where to begin.
I'm just sitting here, tapping my acrylic nails on the keys, smelling homemade peanut butter cookies, and wondering what in the world I have to be upset about. What DO I have to be upset about?
My current schedule: I'm LUCKY and blessed to have a job.
My current relationship status: I can't trust anyone anymore anyways [that was a lot of any's] and I'm in high school, it shouldn't matter.
My brother and Logan being gone: They're where they are supposed to be.
My friends leaving for college: We all have to say goodbye sometime..
If yall have been keeping up with zee blog, you'll know I haven't been able to cry for the past two months. Not a drop. And it's been KILLING me. On Friday I went over to my aunt's house and she gave me the most meaningful present I have ever received. The tears started to FLOW.
Ever since then, it has been EMOTIONAL Laura. I'm having such a hard time getting used to it. Haha. Romantic stories told by Sloan over lunch: tears. The mention of my guy friends all being on LDS missions this time next year: tears. Telling Sloan she is one of my best friends: tears. Writing an email to my brother: tears. Bike ride: tears. Ipod: tears.
WHAT IS THIS NEW THING CALLED TEARS?!?!
It's super weird. I don't know if I like it or not.
Some would call it PMS. I promise, it isn't.
I guess I'm just struggling with change? With heartbreak? With feeling alone even though I KNOW I have people on all sides of me.
I need one of my best friends. Come lay in my bed with me all day. Listen to music. Eat food. Bring me a Seventeen magazine. Wallow with me. Stay in sweat pants. No makeup. Siiiigh. :( That is what I need. If my brother was here, he would. Minus the Seventeen magazine part. Hah.
I think I just need a break. A day off from the world. Not even leaving my room. Hm. Maybe I will.. Except I work tomorrow and the next day. Maybe Wednesday will be my lazy day.
K. I'll stop typing now.
Love to you guys. Thank you always for reading.
Laur.
3 comments:
Every Summer I struggle with the idea of being alone. I can't trust anyone at my high school. I do know though that I have people in other towns from dance that I trust incredibly, my one best friend Sarah, and my family. But every Summer when people are away, I go into a kind of slump/funk of feeling left out and lonely that I HATE. So I've learned to just focus on myself during the Summer. Picture things that I want to do and then go make them happen. =]
Thursday :) :) :) Operation DCLB. All day. Food. Music. Talking. Oh yeah, it's gonna be great. You better be ready. :)
Lia: I love that (: Focus on ME. I'm gonna try (:
Sloan: K... Let's do it!!!!!!!! Hahah
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