Today Is My Day.

Nope, I am not a mother.
Today is my birthday.
And I'm eighteen years old.
I have the best family and friends I could ask for.

xo :)

p.s. yeah, that's me on a 110 ft cliff.
life rocks.

Just Talking To Myself

Yes, I wish I had an easier job. I can't stand my job.

But you're lucky to have one.. A lot of people don't.

Yeah, I wish people didn't lie to me; it's like a regular occurrence lately.

It's fine, that's people for you.
"You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself."

I wish people kept their promises,

they don't, so get used to it. No one is perfect.

I wish my bank account was bottomless.

Hey, at least there is something in there, right?

And I have always wished that I could change someone's life. For the good.

And maybe, just maybe, someday you will.

I wish I wasn't so sore.

But that's okay. The muscles are just getting stronger.
You are getting stronger.

via

Just wishing to myself.
Life'll be okay.
I know it will.
Maybe I'm meant for little things.
And maybe I'm meant for huge things..
I am just going to have to wait and see.

I didn't realize until one of my friends started doin it, but I constantly complain.
I complain on my blog.
I complain on facebook.
I complain at work.
I complain at school.
I complain to my family.

LIFE IS HARD. GET OVER IT AND BE HAPPY.

There is never going to be a time for more than a day where everything is absolutely perfect.

So accept it and move on.
Mmkk self?
Mmk.

Love.
I hope you find everything you're looking for..

How I Spent My First Day of Spring Break:

...Mixed with some movies and food and friends. I am truly blessed.

Sorry my updates have been so short lately. So much going on. So much happiness. The only thing that would make me more happy: SUNSHINE AND WARMTH.
Winter just keeps trying to make a comeback.
I'm ready for summer. Ready for shorts and lying in the grass.

xox Laur

Really Excited About This Eventful Picture Post

this is quick and easy and very describing of my life right now.

1. running random walmart errands with Mason, my boyfriend.
2. happy, sunny days with pop rocks and He Is We, just by myself with my car.
3. making new friends; shopping with Steph.
4. being extremely hyper and bead shopping with Elise. oh and addicted to capri suns.
5. that cute boy with that hat he doesn't wear. and me with a d-bag hat haha
6. bra shopping with Elise, da bff.

there you have it. what i've been up to, and who i am.

When was the last time..

i was this happy?

i don't really remember to be honest. :)

i find myself smiling constantly, i feel like i am where i'm supposed to be in my life and i'm doing what i need to be doing, and i'm who i am supposed to be with when i'm supposed to be with them.

it's scary because when i feel this happy, i feel like it's going to be pulled away from me.. i just want to hold on so tight.

but happiness is a choice. and i am choosing to be happy. now.

i am pretty positive i go to sleep with a smile on my face daily. (nightly?)
it's the best feeling in the world.

p.s. i'm learning bmx tricks.. kind of. okay, i still suck, but trying new things is so exhilarating. i love bmx, it's amazing.

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p.s. being happy makes me not focus on words.. i hope this made sense. :]

I know, I know,

it's been a while, and for that, I apologize.
you guys.
brace yourselves.

i am inexplicably happy.

and i don't think this is just a fluke. [i have happy flukes quite often, where i convince myself i'm happy and i end up hating myself.]
pretty positive i am happy.

and i'm not exactly sure why.
i've made new friends that i love.
my testimony has grown.
i've stopped judging people completely; i am so open to people now.
i've let go of grudges and it feels good.

this week i saw a shooting star, as i was driving home; i was talking to my friend about it and she asked "what'd you wish for?"

i thought for a second with a little bit of panic and realized i hadn't even thought of wishing for something. what the crap. ha.

but then i realized.

i didn't wish for anything; i feel like i have everything.

truly. i do.
and it's an amazing feeling; being happy with what you have.

yes; college crap, and work, and school, and nonsense still stresses me out completely; yes, i still have grey days, who doesn't?

but i've made my choice; i'm happy.
and for the first time in a really long time, i feel like i'm where i'm supposed to be at in my life.
LIBERATING, is really the only word i can come up with right now.

this photo here is how i've been living my life lately:
i've decided i am going to try as many new experiences as possible.
i climbed a pavilion roof the other day. that was exciting.
i am also going car surfing soon.





two confessions.
one) i fall hard, and i fall fast. but this time, i'm taking it slow. and i love it. it's new for me to not rush things. it's hard for sure, really hard, but i'm happy where i'm at.

two) i'm dying to get away from home. i can't stand it anymore. thank heavens for this week to come.. i need to move out.. don't get me wrong, i love my family. but..

so that's about it. life is really good. i think about school and i'm like --man, i hate my life-- but in all reality, i don't think at this point in time i am capable of hating my life; because i'm being who i am.
ultra cheeeese.
hope you enjoy my cheesiness as much as i do. (:

xoxo
Laura

oh! FAVORITE SONG

Too Much Clothes.

That is the title of my post, because today I came to the realization that I had to do my laundry. Had to. I don't even know if my washer/dryer can handle all my laundry. I just have way too much clothes and I'm not willing to give any of it up. I already gave away four bags this summer. It's getting out of hand. Did I already blog about this? Hm. I don't remember, but I am again if I already did.

Here is the problem; My closet= TINY. So. Small.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Please give ideas. I am contemplating turning my bookcase into a place to fold pants and put belts/scarves/jewelry/shoes etc?? I just don't know. It is getting out of control and all my beautiful clothes are ending up on the floor. No good. [Ew, I sound like a priss.]
And the biggest problem is... I just keep buying more.
I am a thrift store addict, someone needs to intervene.

Enough about clothes, there is more to life than clothes.

School. Uhm. I don't really want to talk about it.. I am dropping math. If you don't like that, you can suck it. Also, AP English is kind of kicking my trash; not because it's hard, just because the senioritis is spreading like a virus. Come Christmas Break I will be back on track. I just need a nice little vacation.

Dance. Holy dance. I have been dancing so much lately and my body is just exhausted. Besides the two beginning classes that I help teach every other day, I also have my advanced class on the other days, and on top of that I've been having extra rehearsals after school because we are performing in a Christmas assembly on Friday. I am pretty dang excited, but just so exhausted, mentally and physically. P.S. Remind me to post a photo of our dance costumes. They are insanity. Literally. Our dance piece is all about the imagination, and let's just say.. Those costumes are friggin' imaginative.

This week I haven't been able to stop playing this song. I'm in love with Florence and The Machine. Yuuum.

My life consists of Jazz 32 oz. cups with Dr. Pepper. Oh Subway. Thanks for providing me a job, and free sandwiches and drinks. Oh and 'broken' cookies. My job is pretty cool.

I think I've covered about everything I felt like covering. Also, I would like it to rain as soon as humanly possible so I can check this off of my list of things to do:

xoxo -Laur.

Oh. And P.S. I'm not quite sure why, but this site is my favo.

Stuck

This is a good kinda stuck.
I'm stuck in this really happy place. Where nothing gets to me.
No, not everything is perfect, which is unfortunate.
But.
I am mature and calm about things that frustrate me.
I break rules; I've been wearing black with brown, and yes, gold jewelry with silver jewelry.
I say goodbye, I smile, I know things will be okay.
I don't worry about calories, I focus on my style, I have my Christmas shopping done.
I'm so excited to give to others.
I've been dating. -this song is perfect for this post bee t dub.
I've been blasting much a lot. Happy music, mind you.

[Don't get me wrong, I'm my normal, crazy, immature self. Just a much better version.]

It's like an epiphany. An explosion of perfection. A settling of contentment.

This week I did a lot of shopping. Scratch that, this month I did a lot of shopping. Shopping makes people feel good. At least it makes me feel good.

A beautiful, purple, Nat Kaplan vintage suede jacket.
A vintage gold watch.
Black ankle boots.
Feather Headband.
Chunky knit scarves.
Much more. Too much more?

So what is on everyone's Christmas List?
I couldn't think of much this year. But if I had all the money in the world, I would by myself these babies right here: Jeffrey Campbell Roks Wedge. Mmm baby.

So one of my greatest friend's took this picture below. Unedited. Cool, huh? No, I don't have a pink streak. Thanks for that sun.

It's absolutely how I feel right now. The sun is shining, and life is good. Long Live.


Life is joyful, and I'm downright pleased.

Right now my main challenges are keeping my attention focused in school, getting the dances down for our concert, and deciding on a college [Weber, the U, or SUU. Whichever will pay for me to dance there].
Oh, and I need to prep a solo for my college auditions.. Bleh.
But I'm happy and grateful to be here for the ride. I feel like this contentment is going to stay for a while.
Thank heavens.

Thanks for listening to the rant. Love and happiness to all.

P.S. Purple = links
P.P.S. New music playlist. Yum.

Whew.

Right now I am overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow and gratitude. A strange combination it may be, but life has a funny way of doing that.

Two and half years ago, my uncle died from a brain tumor. He has five boys and a beautiful wife. An amazing person, more than you can imagine.

Why?

I have no idea. Not a clue. And still today, his 39th birthday, I wonder why.

God has a plan. I know it, I believe it. He is watching us.

And I'll never give up on that.

Things seems so hard, I am saddened for my dear aunt and cousins, all the way in South Carolina. I miss them so much and wish each day that I could be with them. I send my love to them.

Sometimes we don't know why things happen; they just do.

Big, huge, x's and o's to them.

I also feel like the picture is very me right now. Guessing and wild and a little crazy. I'm loving it too. This week has some fun things in store.



I'm feeling good. I'm feeling strong. I'm feeling like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing; or at least I'm trying.

I am so grateful for the things I know. For the people in my life. For my family. And for the fact that we are going to be together forever.

Love, Laur.

Laura. Is. Back.

I'm back. And I'm ready to go.

This week I will kick Satan's butt.
He deserves a good kick in the butt after all the grief and crap he has given me the past few weeks.

This past week, I decided I was going to get better, get well.

This week I:
bought myself an ipod. It's an 8 GB, and it's bright pink.
fell asleep listening to music.
chatted with a person I respect very highly; he helped me a lot.
went on a walk.
took a nap.
french tipped my nails.
actually got ready for the day.
stopped counting calories.
got on facebook less.
started settling for my best. not perfection, just my best.
got a letter and pictures from Logan.

Annnnnd. This week I have a job interview :) :)
I'm not sure how it'll go, it really just depends on the amount of money, but it'd be a beautiful change of scenery and a really good opportunity. Everything will work out how it's supposed to.

I had someone say to me this week something along the lines of "It's like you are working towards happiness. Happiness is something that is just supposed to be part of you.." I know I am paraphrasing like crazy. But that made me remember,

Happiness is a journey. Not a destination.

This whole time I think I've been waiting to arrive.

Well. I'm done waiting. I'm gonna make the happiness. I'm going to start praying again. And being motivated. And all that good stuff.
I'm done faking the happiness.
This time, it's gonna be for real.

P.S. Doesn't this photo just make you happy?

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accomplishments in my small little world.

The fact that I am wearing a black shirt in the picture below is most likely meaningless to everyone on the planet. Except for me. The significance of this shirt: I am now a supervisor at the place of my employment. [Okay, getting a raise is great too!!]

I feel like I work in a dead end job.

But a job, is a job. And there are so many people out there, grown adults as well, looking and hoping and wanting a job, any job, even my job.

I am so grateful for income. And my job truly isn't that bad.
I'm also trying out this whole "attitude of gratitude" thing. How's it working out for me?
P.S. Don't mind my work hair.


I would also like to express how grateful I am for comfortable clothes. Comfortable clothing is SO UNDERRATED.

Pants all the way from Georgia, ACDC tee shirt, and my dorky glasses. I feel so much better. Barefoot of course. (Again, please don't mind the work hair.)


Life seems so hopeful in some moments. Although I'm trying my best, I'm making mistakes too. [I definitely have my fair share of them so far, and many more to come, I'm sure.]
But I feel like I learn and grow every day.

The past few weeks I've loved..

visits from old friends.
comments on my blog.
the smell of my dad when I hug him.
when I photoshop a picture.
pictures from the missionaries.
saying exactly the right thing, at exactly the right time, to exactly the right person.
watching karma bite people in the butt.
emails just saying a friendly hello.
wearing my favorite bra, newly washed.
THE FEELING OF GETTING OVER THE STOMACH FLU. Yes.
having the perfect ratio of m&ms and chex mix in my mouth.
being a peacemaker.
imaginary games with my little sisters.
believing I can.
telling someone no.
my brother testifying to me that miracles are real.
finding things to love.

Life has been okay. Ups and downs, but that is life.

Love to all.
Laura.

October First.

October First.

SENSES.
I'm seeing: the fan, blowing back and forth. the green sweater I'm wearing. my pink binder.

I'm feeling: the sickening vinyl of the cheap chairs at the school: suctioning on to my legs --the curses of wearing a dress.

I'm hearing: the fan. the clicking of the keyboard - inconsistent and loud. people flirting.

I'm smelling: air? having a cold makes this sense very useless.

I'm tasting: Life cereal. Mm. and capri sun.

Can you believe it's already October..? I certainly can. Life is going by slowly it seems like. Ha. Who knows?

Last night I was watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
There was a little girl who was disabled, but she had the best attitude.

I decided I'm going to try and be like her.
My life is truly great, I have so much, I'm blessed with so much.
I'm also trying to spend less money on food. I have food at my house that is perfectly good. No need to go out and spend a bunch.
I am honestly trying to have a fresh start.

Smiling, Laura Lu.

Followers..

I have 40 followers, which makes me feel like freaking out a bit.
[Kind of one of those moments that you have to coach yourself: "I will not freak out. This will not change my life. I will not freak out."]
Assured, it may not be a big deal compared to the many, many blogs that have hundreds of thousands of followers.
However, I am nothing but happy that someone reads these nonsensical ramblings of mine.
You may think they are stupid or senseless. Some immature or melodramatic. But I have a passion to write and I can't get enough of it.

I found this adorable picture/quote on the lovely blog of Apartment 513 and I just had to share it with you all.

Hope tomorrow is a great Monday for all, and a great week too. xoo
Laur.

Lately

Lately, I have felt like this. No, not suicidal. [I realize she is on a railroad track, thank you.]
Tired;
Like I could fall asleep anywhere and everywhere.

I've had a lot of medication in my system lately; pain relievers:
My teeth have been murderously horrid to me.
Wisdom teeth coming in?
I sure hope not..
Although it has been rough, it still doesn't explain the tiredness.
Stress? --Very possible.

On Wednesday I went to a dance concert of Ririe Woodbury's Dance Company.
I ADORED it.
If you live in Utah and are looking for something thrilling and beautiful and artistic and inspiring,
Go to their concert: Configurations.

My favorite piece was their first piece, 'Bittersweet Chocolate'. It portrayed the ups and downs of love.
And literally changed my point of view on love.
[[Oh how I WISH they would have allowed photographs to be taken.]]

I used to be a cynic, well not anymore.
I was and am hesitant on posting about this because I honestly feel I can't do it justice.
You have to be there.
It made me cry, made me realize love is life and life is love.
You have to take the bad with the good and look at it for what it's worth.
Because at the end of the day, and at the end of your life, all you have is the people you love.

Go forward with faith that everything will be okay. I'm certainly going to try.
I think I'm starting to love love...
Who the freak am I?

xoxo
Laura Emily.

A Challenge For YOU.

I just thought I'd stop by and say hello to my blog.

"Hello Blog."

Have a cheery day my dear friends.
I hope these random, oh so random, photos make your day.
Or possibly change your life.

Probably not... But you can always hope, right?

Yeah. I love photography. And life. And work... OH wait. Not really.
But I gotta work today, and work is work.
And money is money.
And I am LUCKY to have a job...
Why do I have to be so lucky?

My tongue sticks out to you who don't have to work for anything.
Whether your parents give it to you, or it's just handed to you.
Karma BITES.
So I can't wait till you get out into the real world and have to do something besides sit on your butts.

CHALLENGE OF THE DAY/WEEK/MONTH:
Depending on how often you go out to eat

The next person who helps you in a fast food restaurant, or drive thru, or food place,
BE KIND. Try and make their day. Smile, say please, say thank you, be kind!!
Because people are people too.

Off to life I go. Where it'll take me? I dunno!
xxxoo
Laur Em

Recently

Recently, I was going through all of my old/new/whatever posts and labeling them, because at first with my blog I didn't really understand the point of labels.

ANYWAYS. I came across a comment I've never read until now.

"You're so fake. If there's anyone in this world I can't stand it's you. Just thought I would brighten your day with my feelings :) "

I don't know who this is, or if this person even knows me. People can be so cruel. Everyone we meet if fighting a different battle, and everyone is going through something that we don't know about and we can't see.
So I vote we all think about things before we say/type/text them. Loving really isn't that hard. I am who I am.
Don't hate me until I give you a reason to.
Don't judge me until you know the whole story.
Yeah, I can be cliche. Yeah, I have issues. Yeah, I do get annoying. And yes, I can be a complainer.

BUT THAT IS WHO I AM.

If you don't like who I am, then that is too bad for you.

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what can't change. Love deeply, and forgive quickly. Take chances. Give everything and have no regrets.

I'm just trying to live the best I can.

Real Quick

Uhm. Hate to break it to all my wonderful blog followers, but I'm quitting the 30 day challenge... Sorry.. Haha. I wasn't strong enough!! But I just miss blogging about everything I love to blog about. Updates fa life;

Still looking for a new job
Talked to Miss Ali for 1:13:53 today on the phone (: Great talks about life and love and such
Great phone call from Er Bear today
Lava hot springs was AMAZING; So much fun. I have many photos to upload as well.
Uhm.... That's about all.
Tomorrow is late start. That made my life.

I hope all are well and that everything is okay will yall.
I know everything happens for a reason.
Hang in there, if you need hope, hang on.
It'll be okay in the end.
There is a path; there is a way for us all.

All my love!!! xoxoxo

Day Twenty. Your Favorite Kids Show.

Do you differentiate shows and movies? I do. But I can't choose. So I shall do both.

Lamb Chop. Wow. I don't know if yall have seen this show. [Am I old?!]
This show was GREAT. Her name was Shari, which was my grandmother's name
(I think I want to blog about her next),
and she looked a lot like my grandmother too.


This show was so cute and so fun. It entertained me as a child for sure.
This woman was splendid and charismatic.
She then died of cancer (as my grandma did), that was a sad day.
I'll love you forever Lamb chops!



Oh Aladdin.

ALADDIN. My favorite movie as a child, and still one of my favorites.

Sure, you'd expect me to love Cinderella or Snow White or Beauty and the Beast, just like every little girl who grew up in the 90s.

Nope. Me and my brother could watch this show for weeks on end and not tire of it. I love the thrill and the action and how Aladdin was different than all the rest of those stuck up princes. <3>

Day Nineteen. Free Write.

Oh how lovely! I love this. Today I went to the library and I just went book crazy. I love to read! Here is my reading list for this next week. It is going to be a lovely Labor Day Weekend up at our friend's cabin. Splendid.



Mmm. I can't wait to get crackin on these books.
But first off, I'm going to go running!
Get a fresh start.

Whether it's take a drive with your best friend and the windows down, have a chat with someone you don't know very well over ice cream, make a happy playlist on your ipod and go for a walk, paint --even if you aren't very artistic, bake a pie.

Go do something! Live your life. Get off this computer and stop feeling crappy.
Be the person you want to be.

"To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions." William James

My love to all. :) Start off fresh.
Laura Emily.

Life.

Wow. Live life to the fullest.